the first snow

i had never been so tired in any life i had known. my feet were lifting and falling as if i were a stringed puppet. movement was hard like sand up to my knees, my eyes were heavy but i couldn't stop. the news had come somehow inside my head - something terrible and crushing had happened to colin but i couldn't find out what it was. he had screamed and then stopped and i had heard it but had not seen it. there was nothing in the paper, nothing on the internet, and every time i saw someone who might know something, they disappeared quickly before my feet could get me there. scalding lead in the bottom of my shoes and the more it cooled the more it hurt, iron shoes constricting in a sudden snow squeezing my feet short and small.

the restaurant looked like a perkins, with green flowerly wallpaper and faux country decor. cheap lacy curtains and factory made scarecrows sitting on shelves on the walls above the booths. it was crowded and bright and smelled like syrup and coffee and butter. the manager on duty was a very large black woman wrapped from head to toe in bright salmon scarves. she had a broad smile and scarred hands and was pleasant as she passed out menus and welcomed her guests.

another woman cut from the same cloth walked in, this one wrapped tightly in white, and the moment her presence came into this place was the same moment everything stopped. the room lost all energy and momentum. conversation stopped. not a breath in or out.

the woman in white shouted to all of us, "do not believe her, I am the priestess, not her!" i could feel the panic and wanted to help so i walked around the room and told everyone that there was just a slight misunderstanding, not to worry, but a surge lifted everyone up at once, straight to their feet and out the door.

i had made my way to the back room and waited for something, i don't know what. when i came back into the restaurant, it was bright bright white - white walls and tablecloths and ceilings and carpet. so clean and bright it scared me. there was no color or texture or smell or distance between one thing and another, and the people seated at the new tables had not come from anywhere. but there they were, faceless and ageless.

as names were called from the front of the room, voices answered sadly and steadily. each voice spoke two numbers. the first number was the age of the spirit they were carrying right now, and the second number was the age of death for that same spirit. the first voice said "9 and 14", meaning in life she was nine years old, and would die at 14. the second said "6 and 21" and the voices went on like this. all so young and none would live to be old.

the last voice said simply and sadly, "zero", and this was the spirit that would never be born and so

would never die.

where do munchkins come from?

the family reunion was not going well. everyone went off to different places and there were just two of us wondering what to do.

disneyworld! it's just up the street so off we went. we parked our car and purchased admittance, green oaktag tickets with strings which we attached to our shirt buttons.

the first exhibit was called "sketching" and it cost an additional 75 cents to get in, but you got a small carton of milk with that. i asked for skim. it was a magical display of creature drawings and models. holographs of tiny fairies flitted about and there was some jewelery - tiny gold electric guitars, funny bears and flowers.

a guide came over and told us "you must see the BEST room!" he took us to a window and the master craftsman was hard at work on the other side. the room was the size of a football field, part workshop, part art studio, and part prehistoric rainforest.

giant dinasours and furry four legged something or others were stalking each other and the artist was training them. they bucked and growled and fought with twisting necks and enormous toothy growls. "ok guys use your backing up skills and go for the neck this time!"

after a while we got tired and wanted to go home but we couldn't find our way out. it was worse than being drunk in a las vegas casino, there is never an easy way out. the "esmeralda's wedding" display seemed promising as there was a corner that said "information droid" so we thought we could get some help there. we made our way through the exhibit of leaping dolphins and hansome princes with black plastic hair singing their hearts out in time with the sprays of pastel fountains, esmeralda was dressed in red and gold and blue and this was her big day.

the droid told us that in order to get out we had to actually finish a tour of an exhibit and then we would find our way out.

back to the "sketching" room.

sure enough there was a stairway we hadn't seen. the stairs were pink with white piping and spiraled down. we took to stepping and down and suddenly were hiked up in the air like dad used to do when we were 3, and we landed softly on our butts and slid down down down and around around, bumpity bumpity bump!

at the bottom there was a pile of papers in the middle of a sunny room. there were palm trees adn lilacs and giant daisies and roses. a great big black bug - like a dragonfly in a plane from kittyhawk buzzed loud and flew in circles and told us "choose the right piece of paper and you will find your way".

which piece? there were thousands ! suddenly a large mouthed bass, golden with green freckles swam to me through a vent in the ceiling, he was swimming the air easy as water. he swam closer and closer to me, and gave me a great big smooch on my right cheek. as he backed away another bug jumped from his lips and gave a little bow. was it jiminy criket? no topcoat or cane but this he was green and sparkly and this had to be where the expression "cute as a bug" came from. he winked and jumped into the pile, landed on one white sheet and said"this is it"!

the paper was crisp linen with black letters that said: "an AFL-CIO approved van will pick you you up and take you to your car. turn around".

so we did and there it was! the van was small and crowded with green carpeted seats and the driver was a big fat guy with white hair and a white beard. turned out all of the other riders actually worked at the park, and they started chatting with us and telling us about their jobs.
the driver wanted to join in, so he turned his seat all the way towards us and laughed at their stories and i noticed the van was driving itself. doing a pretty good job, too. it even swerved to miss a teddybear wearing a cowboy hat that had fallen in the road.

the woman in tights the the magnificent eyeliner pointed at the big driver and said,

"well if you ever need a munchkin, he's your man. now THERE is a man who can father a munchkin!"