where do munchkins come from?

the family reunion was not going well. everyone went off to different places and there were just two of us wondering what to do.

disneyworld! it's just up the street so off we went. we parked our car and purchased admittance, green oaktag tickets with strings which we attached to our shirt buttons.

the first exhibit was called "sketching" and it cost an additional 75 cents to get in, but you got a small carton of milk with that. i asked for skim. it was a magical display of creature drawings and models. holographs of tiny fairies flitted about and there was some jewelery - tiny gold electric guitars, funny bears and flowers.

a guide came over and told us "you must see the BEST room!" he took us to a window and the master craftsman was hard at work on the other side. the room was the size of a football field, part workshop, part art studio, and part prehistoric rainforest.

giant dinasours and furry four legged something or others were stalking each other and the artist was training them. they bucked and growled and fought with twisting necks and enormous toothy growls. "ok guys use your backing up skills and go for the neck this time!"

after a while we got tired and wanted to go home but we couldn't find our way out. it was worse than being drunk in a las vegas casino, there is never an easy way out. the "esmeralda's wedding" display seemed promising as there was a corner that said "information droid" so we thought we could get some help there. we made our way through the exhibit of leaping dolphins and hansome princes with black plastic hair singing their hearts out in time with the sprays of pastel fountains, esmeralda was dressed in red and gold and blue and this was her big day.

the droid told us that in order to get out we had to actually finish a tour of an exhibit and then we would find our way out.

back to the "sketching" room.

sure enough there was a stairway we hadn't seen. the stairs were pink with white piping and spiraled down. we took to stepping and down and suddenly were hiked up in the air like dad used to do when we were 3, and we landed softly on our butts and slid down down down and around around, bumpity bumpity bump!

at the bottom there was a pile of papers in the middle of a sunny room. there were palm trees adn lilacs and giant daisies and roses. a great big black bug - like a dragonfly in a plane from kittyhawk buzzed loud and flew in circles and told us "choose the right piece of paper and you will find your way".

which piece? there were thousands ! suddenly a large mouthed bass, golden with green freckles swam to me through a vent in the ceiling, he was swimming the air easy as water. he swam closer and closer to me, and gave me a great big smooch on my right cheek. as he backed away another bug jumped from his lips and gave a little bow. was it jiminy criket? no topcoat or cane but this he was green and sparkly and this had to be where the expression "cute as a bug" came from. he winked and jumped into the pile, landed on one white sheet and said"this is it"!

the paper was crisp linen with black letters that said: "an AFL-CIO approved van will pick you you up and take you to your car. turn around".

so we did and there it was! the van was small and crowded with green carpeted seats and the driver was a big fat guy with white hair and a white beard. turned out all of the other riders actually worked at the park, and they started chatting with us and telling us about their jobs.
the driver wanted to join in, so he turned his seat all the way towards us and laughed at their stories and i noticed the van was driving itself. doing a pretty good job, too. it even swerved to miss a teddybear wearing a cowboy hat that had fallen in the road.

the woman in tights the the magnificent eyeliner pointed at the big driver and said,

"well if you ever need a munchkin, he's your man. now THERE is a man who can father a munchkin!"